i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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