i just wanna soil my oats bro
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
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He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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