Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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