I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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