Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize