found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
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That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
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get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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