so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize