I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize