I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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