i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
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Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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