awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
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My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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