i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you didnt know i had herpes?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize