My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize