Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.

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  (617): And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today. http://tfl.nu/vsrl
  Replies (7) Good night (3953) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.

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  (913): just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home. http://tfl.nu/c9s9
  Replies (45) Good night (11809) Bad night (1073) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.

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  (505): Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you. http://tfl.nu/lhr4
  Replies (11) Good night (768) Bad night (2614) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup

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  (248): after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup http://tfl.nu/a67v
  Replies (22) Good night (1080) Bad night (8757) Order T-Shirt
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  (727): View more from Florida

  josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.

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  (727): josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry. http://tfl.nu/3vhb
  Replies (6) Good night (2700) Bad night (553) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.

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  (412): We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you. http://tfl.nu/7kee
  Replies (2) Good night (1083) Bad night (465)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.

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  (770): Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes. http://tfl.nu/g4xy
  Replies (23) Good night (2738) Bad night (652)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.

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  (417): Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow. http://tfl.nu/if3b
  Replies (3) Good night (1414) Bad night (373) Order T-Shirt
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  (518): View more from New York

  Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!

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  (518): Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top! http://tfl.nu/ukef
  Replies (1) Good night (1351) Bad night (397)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.

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  (920): Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night. http://tfl.nu/df8w
  Replies (3) Good night (354) Bad night (1304) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league

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  (973): I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league http://tfl.nu/mvb2
  Replies (2) Good night (1125) Bad night (210)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.

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  (914): Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo. http://tfl.nu/y2dk
  Replies (4) Good night (417) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.

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  (870): I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards. http://tfl.nu/javn
  Replies (13) Good night (557) Bad night (706) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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  (630): I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo. http://tfl.nu/gaw2
  Replies (3) Good night (664) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm about to be a big disappointment.

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  (405): Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake. (405): I'm about to be a big disappointment. http://tfl.nu/y7r2
  Replies (2) Good night (515) Bad night (174)

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