There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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