Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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