I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
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he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
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At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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