Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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