Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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