I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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