Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sorry about my life...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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