That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize