i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words...techno handjob
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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