Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
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What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize