my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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