If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
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She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
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The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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