he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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