he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize