Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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