This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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