its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize