I love black thongs
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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