I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
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She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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