Banned from zoo.
Again?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize