I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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