I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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