I can text with my tongue
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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