awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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