I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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