The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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