areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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