if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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