thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize