her vagine was all disorganized.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize