wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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