And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize