Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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