I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
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then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Of course I have a pirate flag
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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