Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize