so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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